I am finally understanding that there can never be enough room for the old me and the woman I'm trying to be. I can now see that it was never a matter of self hate or low self esteem, my problem was people. I let everyone get in my head and made me believe their lies but I'm finally understanding there can never be enough room for their lies and my truth. I am finally taking charge of my life and it feels so damn good.  I have been told by so many people who I am or who they think I am but I am finally understanding that I'm not the product of people's words but a creation from God's hand.

"Crooked sticks draw straight lines, just look at me." -Lecrae 
For so many years it was "Jael this" and "Jael that"... It's truely exhausting and draining when you're known for so much negativity. It makes you start to question your existence. Everybody and they mama have rubbed dirt on my name and I took it humbly not knowing that it was slowly killing a piece of me. The thing about being silent is that it kills slowly. Ironically humilty takes courage, confidence and a lot of self sacrifice. It's not fun to be silent while you're being accused and looked down on but humilty takes courage.  I am finally understanding that every broken situation I have been in was to make me whole. God has a unique plan for us all and I don't mean to sound clique but God is faithful. 

I know my story, I know where I have been and I know where I was suppose to be but like I said God has a unique plan for us all. Everytime my plans crashed and burned I would get upset but everytime I took time out of my "busy" life to ask God "why?" he would let me know that the way I wanted was not apart of his plan. It took a lot of  me to finally just surrender to the will of God. I kept thinking of the way I wanted to live my life, what I hoped to achieve, what I envisioned for myself, blah, blah, blah. It made sense to leave everything in the hands of the one who knows everything. Yeah it might be a little painful because you pretty much don't have control over your life but it is so worth it. He is the one that knows EVERYTHING, even what you're afraid of. Your future is but a memory to him.  God has a unique plan for us all, trust and believe. I am a living testimony of his unique plan.

Dress: H&M
Shoes: BCBG
  That's all for now, until next time stay fabu-lous!

Peace, love and happy shopping

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