LIVE TO GIVE LIFE


People don’t understand how much confidence it takes to be me. People will never understand how I got to where I am, how I got to fully accepting myself. There’s some days when I look at myself in the mirror and I hate myself. There’s some days when I don’t want to wake up from bed because I spent the night tossing and turning thinking about how many family and friends that have tried to break my spirit and tell me that I’m nothing. There’s some days when I don’t want to wake up because I know  things are still the same, I’m still the same. I feel like I’m screaming but nobody can hear me. I have been screaming for a while now but nobody can hear me. I keep drowning deeper as the days go by. I keep finding a reason to hold on each day. I keep finding something to fight for each day. I’m screaming, I wish somebody would hear my voice, I wish somebody would understand my pain. I mask it all with my personality but man I wish people really knew me.

I knew trusting the wrong person would be the death of me and yet I chose my poison. I’m not even alarmed anymore, I’m just tired of being tired of going through the cycle. I feel so far away from God. I feel like he’s waiting for me to come back but I can’t find my way back so I keep going further and further on what might seem like the right path to some people. I’m tired of using the word broken to describe my emotional state. I am tired. I feel like I have been fighting all my life only to continue fighting and never rest. I hate that I always have to play therapist to myself and work through these emotions alone. I am tired. This is not a surrender but a farewell to being a bag lady. I won’t take these baggages anymore. I am tired.

 

 









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 That's all for now, until next time stay fabu-lous!

Peace, love and happy shopping

4 comments

  1. wow yous such a stronger woman and I am happy you share this wonderful experience of yours.I love how you write this and by the way your oitfit is awesome!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Super post ♡
    https://kraljicadrameblog.wordpress.com/2017/10/25/black-and-red-devil

    ReplyDelete

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