Greetings to all and happy Thursday.
I officially started school on Monday!! Whoohoo I'm a now a college girl. It's really not as interesting as I thought I'll be, but I'm nonetheless grateful.

As seen in the topic above today's post is going to be really deep. As weird as this sounds I've been dreading this post, but I feel like it's something that needs to happen.
So first off I'm starting with insecurity. I see too many teenage girls nowadays bringing themselves down because they don't look a certain way, which I completely understand because the media literally drills it in your brain  that you have to be someone else. It's just the cultural norm. Like many teenage girls I've been affected by this. I know you're thinking. (Not you, you seem so confident.) The thing is I haven't always been this confident about myself. ( Shocker right?) I remember growing up I had the fancy clothes and shoes, I was the most popular little girl in elementary school, not because of my clothes or shoes, because of my brains.

(Jamie Grace-Ready to fly)

I was so smart I skipped two grades because I was too advanced for it, hence why I'm sixteen and in college. I didn't start to feel insecure about myself until I traveled to America and had to start my life all over.  Coming to this country I didn't know anybody besides my family. It was extremely hard. Later that year I started sixth grade. In the middle of  the school year I had a few friends and they were very nice and supportive, but after a while they started making fun of me. They would laugh at me because I didn't look anything like them or the other girls. It hurt me really bad because I took them to be my friends. I've always been a no nonsense person, but I was too scared to stop them or speak out for myself because I was afraid of them leaving and me been alone. I endured the pain up to 8th grade. I remember it was a few days before our graduation, I called them aside and told them off because I had finally had enough.

When I told them off I felt better, but the battle continued. I kept looking down at myself. Whenever I looked in the mirror I would ask myself Why I was so ugly, I remember saying one time that if I get famous I'll get some plastic surgery done to change myself completely. That's how bad it was, everything I was going through got even more worse when I started high school. My freshman year was complete HELL. I got made fun of and pushed around. While I was going through that, I had to go through more at home. My family was having their own issues and that was getting to my head. One day I decided to committed suicide. I was so sure of my decision and I had planned my suicide and everything. I kept telling myself that even though my family would miss me, I would be in a better place. Away from everything and everyone cruel. 

While I was getting ready to go through with my plan, I got a call from my best friend. She was talking about God and how much he loves me blah blah. It was kind of weird because she's muslim and in our entire friendship we never talked about God. She talked and talked and talked, until I finally broke down crying and told her what I was doing and she started crying with me. We cried for hours until she hung up. A few days later I got the strength to move on. I slowly got closer to God and felt his love. A few years later I found a different group of friends and started to feel better about myself. I went though a year of Jesus therapy, I allowed him to work on me and change me. And I feel so much better about myself.

The moral of the story is: don't let  people tell you who you are or who to be.  Stop listening to people and stop trying to please people. You'll lose yourself while trying to please people I promise you. I did once. Most importantly  love yourself and always remember God loves you. More than you can ever imagine. He loves you even when you're in the valley.

I can now proudly say I AM BEAUTIFUL. My black is flawless even when it's flawed.

Thanks for reading until next time.

Peace, love and happy shopping.


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